This week I went out for a coffee with one of my mom’s best friends. It was absolutely amazing as I had the chance to share some personal things with her. We also went through some funny and other stories about my mom. Moreover, I found out something that was of great importance for me. It made me sort of relieved and happy. Consequently, I shared that with my psychologist. From there, we went on to discuss how some things you hear from people, even your loved one, are not always true.
In life, we all go through certain events that make us the people we are. There are both good and bad things that happen to us. Yet, not all good things turn out to be good for us. On the contrary, not all bad things are bad for us either. For instance, if you lose your job – you might think it’s the end of the world. I might be exaggerating but that is the truth for some of us. Actually, I used to be one of those people. I still think I am but not to that extent. The first time I left my job, I literally thought it was the end of the world. ‘How am I going to pay the rent, the bills, the groceries’ – all of these questions were controlling every single second and emotion of my life. That was until I found my next job. It wasn’t my dream job but it was definitely better! So, I guess, it wasn’t the end of the world…
However, every single time we experience something new – be it either good or bad – most of us tend to experience a range of intense emotions. Some events make us think we either had the best or worst day of our lives. No matter the emotion we feel, the things that happen to us shape us as human beings. For good or bad, things happen for a reason. And this week I found out the truth about something that made me believe even more in this. Things really happen for a reason.
Now that I think of it, and I shared this with my psychologist, there is a silver lining in every bad thing that happened to me. I thought studying abroad was a mistake but if it wasn’t for the UK, I wouldn’t have this open-mindset. If I didn’t live abroad, I wouldn’t get the chance to meet so many new and different people and cultures. Consequently, I’ve become a better and kinder person to other people. I also met the most loving, caring and intelligent person that also contributed to the person I am today. If I didn’t go through all of the health and mental issues, I wouldn’t appreciate how lucky I am that I don’t have something worse. If it wasn’t for the university and my different job experiences, I would never learn how hard it is to earn money and respect whilst trying to live the life you want to.
So, yes, I do believe that things happen for a reason. Same goes for the people in our lives. They all come into our lives for a reason. Even if it is a bad one, eventually you learn something new. You either learn that you don’t have to let people like that near you again or you find out something new about yourself. No matter how your relationship had ended with that particular person, try to take something out of it. Don’t blame yourself or the other person, don’t hold grudges. Instead, try to improve and change for the better.
Only recently, I’ve finally started to slowly let go of the past. I’ve slowly started to learn how not let people, situations and experiences take the better of me. In the end, we only have one life or so we think. We can’t live in the past. We also can’t live in the future. We have to live in the present. Only now I’ve realized that. It’s funny but it’s true. I’ve finally realized that life is too short and I need to live it now. Yet, I still have a long way to go. I haven’t quite learned how to control my emotions but that’s fine. Actually, my psychologist used athletes as an example. They train and prepare so hard throughout their whole lives. Yet, behind every one of their victories, they have experienced a dozen losses.
Basically, she told me I should aim for the gold medal in my life. I have been through a lot and I’ll probably go through a lot more. Yet, I shouldn’t give up as my next win might be just around the corner. Same goes for all of you who might be reading this post. As trivial as it may sound, never give up. Things happen for a reason – especially bad ones. However, there is a silver lining!
Most importantly, if there are no downs in our lives, we won’t appreciate the ups!
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My Visit To The Psychologist: Part VIII
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My Visit To The Psychologist: Part VI
