This Valentine’s Give Yourself The Gift Of Self-Love

Brunette on Demand The Gift of Self-Love Brunette on Demand The Gift of Self-LoveBrunette on Demand The Gift of Self-Love

February is the season of love. Shopping windows are decorated with hearts and flowers. Supermarkets are offering “2 for 1” on chocolate and confectionary. TV commercials are telling us to give our loved ones the ultimate experience this V-day by buying them this or that. Fellow bloggers are giving us great Valentine’s gift ideas weeks in advance. We all wait patiently until 14th February to show and express our love to our other half or the friend with the ‘forever alone’ tag. Valentine’s/Galentine’s Day – the day to give and receive love. A commercialised day to forget about the pain that love has caused us throughout the years, to forget our partner’s mistakes and give them a little card covered with hearts. Yes, 24 hours of true sentimental blissfulness! Sadly, after 24 hours of love and 1… or 2… dissolved boxes of chocolate, we seem to crawl back to our normal selves. We have given and received love, but some of us will still feel miserable and unloved.

Although I have the lovely support of Vlad and we somehow manage to show our love on every single day apart from Valentine’s Day (oh, the horror if we don’t celebrate it!), I still feel gloomy and depressed. Why? Because I don’t love myself. I’ve spent so much time on making other people happy and loved that I’ve forgotten how to treat myself in the same way. And how am I supposed to properly show how much I love others when I can’t even show this to my own being?! Henceforth, I’m dedicating this post to myself and all other poor souls out there who desperately need some self-love! This Valentine’s let’s learn how to give ourselves the gift of self-love.

February is the season of love. Shopping windows are decorated with hearts and flowers. Supermarkets are offering “2 for 1” on chocolate and confectionary. TV commercials are telling us to give our loved ones the ultimate experience this V-day by buying them this or that. Fellow bloggers are giving us great Valentine’s gift ideas weeks in advance. We all wait patiently until 14th February to show and express our love to our other half or the friend with the ‘forever alone’ tag. Valentine’s/Galentine’s Day – the day to give and receive love. A commercialised day to forget about the pain that love has caused us throughout the years, to forget our partner’s mistakes and give them a little card covered with hearts. Yes, 24 hours of true sentimental blissfulness! Sadly, after 24 hours of love and 1… or 2… dissolved boxes of chocolate, we seem to crawl back to our normal selves. We have given and received love, but some of us will still feel miserable and unloved. Although I have the lovely support of Vlad and we somehow manage to show our love on every single day apart from Valentine’s Day (oh, the horror if we don’t celebrate it!), I still feel gloomy and depressed. Why? Because I don’t love myself. I’ve spent so much time on making other people happy and loved that I’ve forgotten how to treat myself in the same way. And how am I supposed to properly show how much I love others when I can’t even show this to my own being?! Henceforth, I’m dedicating this post to myself and all other poor souls out there who desperately need some self-love! This Valentine’s let’s learn how to give ourselves the gift of self-love. February is the season of love. Shopping windows are decorated with hearts and flowers. Supermarkets are offering “2 for 1” on chocolate and confectionary. TV commercials are telling us to give our loved ones the ultimate experience this V-day by buying them this or that. Fellow bloggers are giving us great Valentine’s gift ideas weeks in advance. We all wait patiently until 14th February to show and express our love to our other half or the friend with the ‘forever alone’ tag. Valentine’s/Galentine’s Day – the day to give and receive love. A commercialised day to forget about the pain that love has caused us throughout the years, to forget our partner’s mistakes and give them a little card covered with hearts. Yes, 24 hours of true sentimental blissfulness! Sadly, after 24 hours of love and 1… or 2… dissolved boxes of chocolate, we seem to crawl back to our normal selves. We have given and received love, but some of us will still feel miserable and unloved. Although I have the lovely support of Vlad and we somehow manage to show our love on every single day apart from Valentine’s Day (oh, the horror if we don’t celebrate it!), I still feel gloomy and depressed. Why? Because I don’t love myself. I’ve spent so much time on making other people happy and loved that I’ve forgotten how to treat myself in the same way. And how am I supposed to properly show how much I love others when I can’t even show this to my own being?! Henceforth, I’m dedicating this post to myself and all other poor souls out there who desperately need some self-love! This Valentine’s let’s learn how to give ourselves the gift of self-love.Brunette on Demand The Gift of Self-Love

Self-Love Requires Self-Respect

Self-respect is one of the steps that can take us closer to achieving self-love. Yet many of us were born into families that did not show us how to master this technique. Growing up, I was constantly reminded by my parents and fellow classmates that I don’t deserve respect. I should give respect! I was a little human being that knew nothing about life and had a long way to go before it achieves anything worth respecting. I was constantly reminded that I’m nobody and will stay nobody for a long time. The fat shaming and bullying didn’t help either. Slowly, I was losing confidence and grew to be this self-pity, self-conscious, miserable human being.

All these years I’ve made very poor decisions that were acted out of neither self-love nor self-respect. Are we loving and respecting ourselves when we always put other’s feelings first, even though they might hurt us? Are we loving and respecting ourselves when we let our boss treat us badly? Are we loving and respecting ourselves when we put up with the toxic friend in our lives that keeps reminding us of the bad things we’ve done? The answer is – NO!

Brunette on Demand The Gift of Self-Love

 

 

 

 

 

“We practice neither self-love nor self-respect while we let other people control us.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Slowly, I’ve learned to give myself a bit more self-respect. I’ve quit the job that made me feel miserable. I stood up and said goodbye to my boss who called women ‘stupid cows’. I said goodbye to all of my ‘friends’ who were making me feel less worthy. Consequently, I ended up alone, with no friends, but I learned to be my own friend and that’s enough because self-love requires self-respect!

 Brunette on Demand The Gift of Self-Love

Forgive Yourself

We live in a society in which we’re constantly being reminded of the mistakes we’ve done. Nowadays, we strive to become somebody and not just anybody but the absolute best version of ourselves. We want people to know us, to speak highly of us, to remember and praise us. Only then we start to feel worthy and successful. Sadly, in our quest to become someone, we tend to forget about the little accomplishments we’ve achieved throughout our lives. Often, the mistakes we’ve done prevail and, once again, we fall into the despair hole.

“We criticize ourselves more than we praise ourselves.”

We tend to punish ourselves far too much for making mistakes which are an integral part of learning and growing. As a matter of fact, while I’m writing this, I’m getting a horrendous flashback wave of all of the bad choices I’ve made. In situations like this, I need to remind myself that I’m a human being. I’m not perfect and that’s ok. Nobody is perfect and we all need to learn to forgive ourselves. Only by forgiving ourselves we’ll get the gift of self-love.

 Brunette on Demand The Gift of Self-Love  Brunette on Demand The Gift of Self-Love

Speak Well Of Yourself

Nowadays, focusing and nurturing our own selves is often confused with narcissism and selfishness.  Narcissism is the opposite of self-love. Narcissists are arrogant and hide their insecurity behind a falsely perceived sense of their own superiority. Self-love and speaking well of yourself has nothing to do with self-centeredness.

Brunette on Demand The Gift of Self-Love

 

 

 

 

“We often speak more negatively to ourselves than we ever would to anyone else.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’ve slowly started to speak well of myself. It might sound funny but I’ve learned to stand in front of the mirror, take a few deep breaths and tell myself that I’m worthy. I’m a strong, confident, smart and capable human being with an amazing six pack! And then I high five myself! No, I’m joking, my nuttiness hasn’t reached such heights… yet! Jokes aside, my mirror practices have helped. Although my confidence disappears as soon as I leave our flat, those couple of minutes of self-worthiness are all I need to feel some self-love.

Brunette on Demand The Gift of Self-Love

Therefore, I’m dedicating this post to everyone who is in a desperate need of self-love. I know I am and this Valentine’s I’ll try to give Vlad and myself some much-deserved self-love as the past week has been horrendous. My anxiety has once again peaked and judgmental voices from the past have filled my head. I’m breathless, sad and afraid. I can’t calm myself but I’m trying to remember that these feelings are not a sign of a weakness but strength! When this anxiety episode passes, I know I’ll feel stronger and more confident.

Let’s all try to be more confident and learn to appreciate our own selves. Everything just falls into place when we love ourselves, accept ourselves, and honour ourselves. Only then can we discover our true calling and create a life worthy of our being!

Did you enjoy this post? Check out my other random thoughts!

x Mariya

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34 Comments
  • Michael @ Mile in My Glasses
    February 12, 2018

    I love this, Mariya! Totally agree that self love is the perfect gift for Valentines!

    Have a great Monday!
    Michael
    https://www.mileinmyglasses.com

    • Mariya
      February 12, 2018

      Thanks Michael!

  • Courtney
    February 12, 2018

    I totally agree with you. Valentines day gets so hyped up, and people show love even if they are miserable. Self love is so important because you can’t love other people if you don’t love yourself first.
    http://sugarcoatedbears.blogspot.com/

    • Mariya
      February 13, 2018

      Exactly, Courtney!

  • Camille
    February 12, 2018

    Great post, thanks for sharing! Self love is so important and it is often something which we neglect!

    Camille xo

    http://www.cococami.blogspot.co.uk

  • D
    February 12, 2018

    Your best post so far, thanks for sharing! There’s the right place and time for everything hence publishing this right before 14th Feb was a brave and worthy
    decision

    • Mariya
      February 13, 2018

      Thanks, Desislava, glad that you’ve read it!

  • Jalisa
    February 12, 2018

    What an incredibly beautiful post, girl! I appreciate your honesty because quite frankly, all of us have been there or are currently in a state of not truly loving ourselves the way we should. I think there’s no better time than now when showing love to others, particularly a significant other, than to enforce the importance of loving ourselves first. It is only then that we can truly show the love that the people in our lives deserve. Thanks for sharing, girl, and I hope you have a great week!

    XO,

    Jalisa
    THE STYLE CONTOUR

    • Mariya
      February 13, 2018

      Thanks, Jalisa! I wish you the same and more!

  • Missy May
    February 12, 2018

    This post couldn’t have come at the right time. I do agree with every pointer and I can surely relate. Truth!!
    I must say you’re such a pretty lady. Beautiful shots!!

    https://www.missymayification.co.uk

    • Mariya
      February 13, 2018

      Thank you so much for always taking the time to read my posts and reply with such beautiful comments! You are one of my best readers and I really appreciate every single comment!

  • LindaLibraLoca
    February 12, 2018

    I am sorry to hear that you have a hard time right now, but I agree with your conclusion. if you don’t love yourself, you won’t be able to love others fully.

    Anne – Linda, Libra, Loca

    • Mariya
      February 13, 2018

      Exactly, Anne!

  • Kathrin
    February 13, 2018

    This is a great post! We often forget to love ourselves in our rush to please everyone else…

    Kathrin | Polar Bear Style

  • Len Parent
    February 13, 2018

    Amazing look! Gorgeous babe! Love it!!
    Hope you’re having a great week!
    Much love, Len
    http://www.lenparent.com
    XO

  • Carolyn
    February 13, 2018

    I agree — everything starts with loving yourself first!

    http://heyprettything.com

  • ROSIE
    February 13, 2018

    Thanks for great post and pics.

    Xoxo,
    Rosie | Minimalist Spring Nails Art

  • Hillory
    February 13, 2018

    Awe totally loved this post girl! Hope you have a happy Valentine’s day!!

    xo,

    H

    http://firsttimethings.com/

  • Amita
    February 13, 2018

    Such an amazing post! Self love comes from within and we should be kinder to ourselves. x

    amerzwithlove.com

  • Flo la vita
    February 14, 2018

    I’m defiantly doing galentine’s this year xx

    http://www.flolavita.co.uk

  • Kathrine Eldridge
    February 15, 2018

    Self love is so important. You look beautiful in these photos!

    https://www.kathrineeldridge.com

    • Mariya
      February 16, 2018

      Thank you!

  • Natalia
    February 15, 2018

    what a great motivational post! totally agree – the key to success is self-acceptance

  • jodie
    February 15, 2018

    What a great post Mariya!! It reminds me of the saying “You can’t pour from an empty cup!!”
    XOXO
    Jodie
    http://www.jtouchofstyle.com

    • Mariya
      February 16, 2018

      Believe it or not, I actually thought of this saying while writing this post! x

  • Lorna
    February 15, 2018

    Self love and self respect are two things we need greatly in our lives!

    Raindrops of Sapphire

  • Nina Nguyen
    February 15, 2018

    Such a great post!! Self love is so important!!
    xx- Nina

    http://www.ninalnguyen.com/2018/02/my-first-new-york-fashion-week-recap.html

  • Zorica
    February 15, 2018

    Great post.
    xx
    https://theonethattravels.wordpress.com/

  • Olga
    February 15, 2018

    I’ve been struggling with my self-confidence for so many years! But it is as you said, it helps so much to give yourself some pep-talk!!! It was such a pleasure to read this post! You are an awesome, beautiful, intelligent woman, that deserves all the love in the world!

    Love,
    Olga from Myme

    • Mariya
      February 16, 2018

      Olga, you always leave such lovely comments! I’m so glad that you read my posts and, most of all, that you can actually relate to them. You also deserve all of those things and a lot more! x

  • Ankita
    February 16, 2018

    I have always struggled with self love, I still do but I am getting better! I beared with a lot of toxic people and situations which I should have walked out of if I had respected myself enough. But once I slowly started to stand up for myself, just like you, I ended up completely alone with no friends. But strangely as much as I feared of this situation, I started liking it as there was no negative energy around me. Now I am trying to control and send away the negative voices in my head 🙂
    Thank you writing this post and reminding me that I am not alone 🙂
    Hope you have an amazing weekend! 🙂
    xx
    Ankita
    http://realgirltalks.com/

    • Mariya
      February 16, 2018

      Ankita, readers like you are the reason why I write posts like this. When I’m pouring my heart out I hope I can motivate people in a way that they can’t do so themselves. I was so scared of ending up with no friends and, yes, at first I was very sad but then I realised that I felt so much better without that negativity in my life! I’m glad you can relate! One day we’ll find people that we can truly call our friends! x

  • Nicole
    February 16, 2018

    Loved reading this because i have something similar posted and couldn’t agree more! X

    http://www.glitsxgrace.com/2018/02/15/11-home-made-natural-face-masks-to-try/

  • Freeoversea
    February 19, 2018

    Love your thoughts. Self-love is beautiful, we have to love who we are. Once we do that, we are able to love others deeply 🙂
    Have a wonderful week,
    xx

    Patricia & Miguel
    http://www.freeoversea.com

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